Cindy
by sub slave

i was friends with cindy for a long while, but finally could not take it any more. my desire and love for her had grown too great, but it was unreciprocated. she had contempt for me i knew, liked me but didnt think of me as a man. and i could no longer handle it. i walked away from her and we didnt speak again for years.

then one evening cindy approached me and said she wants to be friends again.

she invited me to her place afterward. it was fall and the leaves are falling and there are jack o lanterns on the doorsteps. she pulls me close and kisses me good night, coquettishly, on the corner of my mouth, as she had done once before.

there is another date after that, and another goodnight kiss, but she explains, that she will only let me kiss her within certain rules. sometimes she only lets me kiss her on the cheek. other times she says, you may kiss me on the lips but you may not use your tongue. she asks if i want to kiss her again and i say i do, but she says, you may not. she walks away, then turns and says, i will call you when i want you to come over again.

after one date, we are standing on the porch in front of her apartment, and i am hoping to be allowed to kiss her on the lips. but that evening, she will only let me kiss her on the knee. she extends her foot slightly forward and i have to get on my hands and knees and kiss her on the knee. i do so gently, lovingly, cherishing her beauty. i am a little embarassed because we are outside.
there are some people nearby who i am sure can see us. but my embarassment is a little exciting.

the next time, she invites me in. we sit up talking on the sofa for a long time. she knows i want her very badly, but she will not allow me to touch her. she cuddles on my lap but will not allow me to touch her or put my arms around her.
when she says so, i am allowed to kiss her on the lips without using my tongue.

she once told me that her danskin, the one i like, the blue with white stripes, snaps at the crotch. after one date, she goes into her room and comes out wearing only the danskin. she sits on my lap and teases me by lightly touching my face and neck with her tongue in different places, ever so slightly. she wiggles on my lap, purposely arousing me, but will not allow me to touch her.

i had sometimes thought that cindy might be dominant, without ever knowing it.
i had always loved her clothes, she had lots of beautiful clothes, and she had one outfit she wore sometimes which made me think of a dominatrix. it consisted of close fitting black slacks, a black satin blouse, and very sexy ankle length lace up boots. she had also made joking comments once or twice about submission, but then anybody might do that.

but i had often fantasized about her that way.

to play with my head, she once faked an orgasm for me that made me dizzy, it was so erotic.
she didnt make any sound, just did something subtle with her face, her features,her mouth.

she said once, i *really* like men.

she knew the effect she had on me.

one night we are sitting talking after a date. i am feeling especially close to her after a romantic evening. she let me hold her hand while walking her to her door from the car.

while talking on the couch, she began without explanation to undress. she started by slowly unbuttoning her blouse, while we were talking, removing her shoes, etc.
she didnt say anything and was keeping up the conversation, so i just kept talking.

soon she was sitting there wearing only a bra and panties. after a while i could not do anything but stare. and she stared back. finally she said that i might be allowed to kiss her cheek. so i did.

then she said that she would like to have her feet kissed. so i knelt on the polished wooden
floor and kissed her feet, running my tongue all over them, the arches, the soles, the places
between her toes.

then she commanded me to masturbate. so i jerked myself off onto the floor at her feet.
she told me to clean it up with my tongue, and i did.

these kinds of games became a regular pastime for us.

one evening we wer playing like this and she was wearing the danskin, she told me to kneel
in front of her. she undid the snap at the crotch and let me lick her to orgasm. after she came, she bent toward me and slapped me as hard as she could on the face. then she kissed me on the nose and told me to go home.

cindy was a nurse. i had always found that sexy about her. once she called and told me to come over and she was wearing her nurses outfit. she gave me a specimen car and told me to go into the bathroom and pee in it. when i came back, i started to hand her the jar. she just looked at me coldly, with a slight smile. "drink it," she said. i drank my own piss in front of her. she told me to undress and go kneel and the bathtub. she came in and gave me an enema with soap and warm water and made me kneel and hold it until she said i could release it.

one evening after i had knelt in front of her and licked her to orgasm, she said, "i am going to let
you sleep with me tonight."

she led me into the bedroom seductively and told me to undress. "bend over the bed," she said.
she whipped my buttocks with a black leather riding crop until she grew tired of that. then she
told me to lie on my side of the bed and covered me.

she then undressed slowly, looking at me the whole time. she turned off the light and climbed into
bed. "stay on your side of the bed. you may not touch me." she lay with her head on the same pillow
as me, very close to my face so i could smell her sweet breath. my penis was erect, but i could not touch her or myself. she masturbated and then fell asleep. i had to lie in pain and hear her come.

we began sleeping together sometimes like this.

during the night she would sometimes wake up and torture me by allowing her bare nipples to just barely brush my chest. once she gave me a slight kiss on the lips. it was intimate, in a way, this erotic torture. once in the night, she woke up and rolled me onto my back and sat on my face. "lick my anus" she said, and i began to lick and kiss her anus, lovingly, like a lover kisses the woman he loves on the lips. "inside" she said, and i felt her hole relax and i obeyed, running my hot, wet tongue into her musky hole over and over while she masturbated herself to orgasm.

sleeping with my cindy became a regular routine. she invented new ways to torture me. she would
very lightly stroke my penis and start to masturbate me, then stop doing that and squeeze my balls.
she would squeeze slowly, incresing the pain slightly until it made me moan involuntarily. then she
would hold it there, teasing my open mouth with her lips and tongue while i writhed and whimpered in pain.

other times she would tease me by straddling me, smiling while she would run the wet lips of her pussy lightly up and down the shaft of my penis until i almost came, and then stopping. one time she did this i remember she was wearing knee length boots and elbow length black satin gloves. there were no end to the variations and ways she invented to tease and torture me.

once we were in bed together and she turned my back to her and snuggled up close to me. i was enjoying it and was then surprised to feel her putting someting in my anus. she was screwing me from behind with a lubricated strap on dildo that i didnt know she was wearing. she kept doing this, teasing my cock with her hands but not bringing me off, seeing how much she could hurt me with
the dildo, nibbling on and blowing in my ear, until she was satisfied and the game no longer amused her.

sleeping with cindy became a regular event, an intimate ritual that we shared, but i still was never allowed to have any sexual release with her, except the times she let me masturbate and lick my come off the floor. sometimes she would pee on the floor and let me masturbate in that, making me lick it off the floor or off the sole of her high heeled shoe or boot.

i started spending more time at her apartment, and being there for more of her daily routine. once she let me wash her. we took a shower together. we were both naked, and she let me wash her with soap all over her body, but i was only allowed to touch her with the soap and the cloth, not with my bare hands. i was also allowed to dry her with the towel.

as we became more intimate and cindy kept testing the limits of her control over me, she gradually made me her bathroom slave. whenever cindy went to the bathroom to relieve herself, i would follow behind and kneel in front of her. sometimes she would make me lick her feet or her clitoris while she did defecated or urinated. i would wipe her bottom with the paper, then with a warm wet washcloth, after she defecated. she never had to wipe her own ass while i was there. usually she would allow me to lick her anus perfectly clean after i had washed it with the wash cloth. if she urinated, she would stand over me and i would lick the drops off of her.

one day she was sitting on the toilet and looking down at me and a smile crept over her face. she stood up. "open your mouth" she said. she straddled my face and, steadying herself against the wall with one hand, and holding her silk nightie up daintily with the other hand, stood and flowed into my mouth. when she was done, she stood and watch me, staring, fascinated, at this slave with a mouth full of her urine. this became a regular routine for us and something cindy loved to do. she liked to make me keep her urine in my mouth for a long time, sometimes while she tortured me with a whip.

one day she was sitting on her couch, legs apart, with my face buried in her crotch, wiggling and shaking, and had the best orgasm she had ever had. i could tell, because i knew her orgasms, having given her so many with my tongue. after it was over, she lay there looking at me kneeling on the floor. she was excited. she stared at me for a long time, thinking. "go to the kitchen," she said.
"bring your plate."

i fetched the plate that i ate off of sometimes, and she told me to put it on the floor. then, never taking her eyes off of me, she squatted on the floor, both high-heel shod feet together, and flowly turned her beautiful ass toward me, holding it over the plate. a look of almost sexual satisfaction came over her face as she dumped a long, steaming turd on the plate. without being told, i went to the bathroom for the tissue and wiped and cleaned her pretty ass and kissed and licked her tight, lovely little hole
perfectly clean.

she stared at me again. raising one eyebrow, smiling slightly. "kiss it" she said.

i bent down and very lightly brushed cindy's steaming warm turd with my lips. "lick it" she almost whispered, truly aroused and excited. i did so very lightly, not wanting to get sick.

she was really enjoying this. her eyes half closed, licking her lips, touching herself. she was aroused by her own power.

"put your nose in it." she commanded, sharply and coldly, but very quietly.

i did so, and while i knelt there cindy slowly brought the whip and whipped my buttocks for a half an hour or more, slowly and painfully.

"spread your legs" she said. i spread my knees apart on the hard wooden floor.

she every slowly walked around behind me, savoring the excitement this moment must be giving her.
she gazed and enjoyed, and then sharply, smartly, expertly, whacked my hanging sack with the pointed toe of one of her shiny high heeled shoes. i knelt there whimpering and shaking with pain, breathing the smell of my darling cindy's sweet shit.

she slowly walked toward my face and stood there, smiling, on her lovely, perfect legs. she put the toe of one of her shoes on the back of my head and, grinding it back and forth slowly, slowly pushed my face down in to her shit.

then she sat back down on the couch and masturbated herself to orgasm again.

"go clean up." she said.

i knew by now what to say after a punishment. "thank you, mistress."

i began to spend a lot of time at cindys. almost every weekend i would be there, and when she came home from work i would be there. i was her intimate pet, licking her to orgasm, caressing her toes, feet, and anus with my tongue, bringing her things, serving as her toilet to urinate in, wiping her ass, sleeping with her, showering with her, dressing her.

she was playful in thinking of new ways to torture and humiliate me. once she smiled cooly when i was kneeling before her and said, "turn around and lie on the floor." "hand behind your back."
i complied, and she said "spread your legs, bitch"

i spread my legs as far apart as i could, excited because we had never done this before.

she seemed to think for a minute. then changed her mind about the position of my hands.

"spread your hole"

i moved my hands to my buttocks and stretched tem apart, trying to relax my anus and open my hole to her.

cindy was wearing a black dressing gown and black high heeled shoes with long stilleto heels. she giggled while she pulled off one shoe and lubricated the heel with some hand lotion she had on the table. then she put it back on and slowly, gently forced the heel of one shoe into my anus, slowly, slightly pushing it in and out.

"enjoy it, cunt"

i knew what she meant. i wiggled and squirmed, rubbing my penis against the floor, whimpering, breathing heavily, using the drops of sperm from my erect, aroused penis for lubricant. i easily came, shivering with delight. for me, this was sex with my love, with my beautiful, cruel, cooly sadistic
cindy, my love, my goddess.

"clean it up." and i gratefully licked my come off the floor, every drop, while she teased me by kicking my head playfully with the toe of her shoe, making me suck the heel that had been in my anus.

i began to think of cindy as my girlfriend. sometimes she would allow me certains leniencies. for instance, when licking her to orgasm, sometimes i would be allowed to jerk myself off to orgasm as long as i didnt show any sign that i was doing this. i got pretty good at timing my orgasm with hers and it gave me great pleasure to come with my cindy, because that is how i thought of her. even
though she tortured me and i wasnt allowed to hold her or kiss her, i was in love with my beautiful, lovely, cruel cindy. she let me come with her because it amused her to make me lick my come off the floor.

i loved it when she whipped me on the ass or genitals, but i lived for the times when she would slap my face. it was usually when she was feeling annoyed. to arouse any emotion in my cool, beautiful lover, for i secretly thought of her that way, was heaven for me, and then i got to feel the touch of her actual hand, her beautiful, beautiful hand on my face. i loved the stinging, warm sensation of it and wished she would slap me more often. i hated it when she stopped.

sometimes when she was really in a bad mood, she would make me kneel and would whip my face with the riding crop, hurting me as much as she could. sometimes i could see her breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling, and i wished i could listen to her heart in her beautiful breast, made quicker by the excitement of torturing me, of expressing her anger.

but one day after work, she was getting dressed up instead of our usual routine of staying at home. a freezing pain shot through my heart as she explained with a smile that she was going out on a date.

i groveled and knelt at her feet, kissing her toes and anus, begging for scraps of attention, as she readied herself. as usual i was allowed to wipe her ass, bath and dry her, and i was allowed to kneel and lick her anus as she put on makeup before the mirror.

i always found my lovely cindy applying lipstick to be incredibly erotic and secretly rubbed my penis against the heel of her shoe while i was licking her anus as she stood before the mirror, concentrating on painting her beautiful face to the most devastating effect.

i was dizzy, almost swooning with desire as she put on pretty lace panties and underthings, perfume, and combed her beautiful, glossy, black bobbed hair. then she left me alone.

over the coming weeks, the date became more and more of a routine. my heart was breaking, i loved her so much. i craved any attention from her, no matter how humiliating. but i had to beg just to be allowed to lick her anus or let her pee in my mouth.

but she loved the ritual of getting ready for the date because she knew the pain it caused me. she tortured me by making me participate more and more in readying her for her new lover, for i knew that is what he was now. she would masturbate herself while talking to him on the phone in bed while i
lay there, unsatisfied and lonely.

she made me dress her, and starting teaching me to put on her makeup, which made me almost die with love for her.

i would apply her perfume and comb her hair while she talked about her lover, his thrusting, his penis, his masculine, muscular, tall body.

inevitably she brought him home and made me hide in the closet, tied up, helpless while he fucked her. she arranged things so i could see them from my spot in the closet, and smiled at me cruelly while he took her, my love. sometimes she would dress me in her pretty underthings before she knelt me in there to watch them fuck.

dressing cindy to be fucked by her man became a new routine. i loved her more every day and savored the pure emotinal torture of seeing her more beautiful and desirable all the time, of seeing her taken roughly and casually by this brute who cared little for her at all but who made her feel like a woman. she made me watch in secret while she was fucked anally, orally, and vaginally. she showed me his come in her mouth once, smiling at me in my secret place in the closet with his come on her lips.

discreetly she would sometimes spit his come into a jar by the bed and make me lick it off the floor later. she saved up quite a lot of it over one week long period and laughed at me while i was forced to kneel and drink it, swallowing the smelly, snotty glop.

the dressing ritual changed, too. more and more she would dress me while she dressed herself. she liked applying lipstick to me expecially, and taught me to do it. she bought me a black bob wig and underwear and taught me to wear them. sometimes she would dress me as a woman before going to bed with me or before i knelt and seviced her. she seemed to enjoy the variety.

i knew somehow what was eventually going to happen. one weekend she told me she was planning something special and told me to be sure to save the entire weekend.

i knew what to expect and it excited me. the humiliation of it, just the expectation, was like a knife of ice cutting into my stomach. it made my throat tighten and made it hard to swallow.

that weekend was the most attention cindy had given me in a long time. during it, i felt closer to her than ever before. i almost felt she loved me during some of the things she did to me that weekend.

fridaay evening, cindy called me into the bathroom. it was dim. she was wearing nothing. i was wearing nothing.

she lathered and shaved my entire body, taking great care that i didnt come, which i almost did several times. when i seemed close to coming she would stop me by kicking my balls or slapping me. but her carreses were beautiful. she wanted me to feel the true pain of what i would never have from her. she shaved me completely smooth and then applied lotion to my body. laughing at my erection, teasing me, kissing my nose, nibbling my ear.

she gave me several warm water enemas, cleansing me entirely, filling me full and making me hold it, whipping me while i did, so as to prolong my pain and humiliation.

the last enema was with a lubricating gel.

it felt like a load of shit inside me, it was hard to hold in. i felt like i had to go to the bathroom, but i was not allowed to. the slippery lubricant was hard to hold inside me, there was a lot of it, and it was warm, and it seeped thru my asshole and dripped down my legs a little bit.

as if i was wet with excitement for what was going to happen to me.

cindy dressed me in silky white lingerie, a cute little black dress, a black bob wig just like her own pretty hair, taking time and special care with my perfume and makeup. she wanted to make me as pretty as she could. she made me apply the lipstick myself while she stood behind me, pretending to
fuck me. she teased my anus with her finger, playing with the lubricant that i was having a hard time holding in. this made me so dizzy and swoony with love and desire that i could barely hold the lipstick. this was a very intimate moment, and once during this part she actually kissed me on
the neck and cheek slowly, with what i felt was really love.

i loved her then more than ever before, if that was possible.

cindy turned me toward her and looked at me. everything was perfect. hair, makeup, high heels that made it hard for me to walk, perfume. she put her hand around my waist, stroked my hair, bent her face to me and gently kissed me on the lips, running her tongue into my mouth.

she led me into the bedroom and to a hard wooden chair with wooden arms. "kneel here" she said.

i knelt on the chair, facing the back, and she tied my legs to the arms of the chair with thin white rope. it hurt, but that was the point. my legs were spread, forced apart. she tied my wrists behind my back. the lights in the room were dim. i was sick with excitement and fear and disgust over what
was going to happen to me.

she collared me with a leather collar with a short chain.

cindy caressed me in my helpless state, standing behind me, her hands reaching around to teasingly stroke my aching, rigid penis through the thin, stretchy fabric of the cute little black dress while she blew warmly into my ear. she actually giggled once or twice as i moaned involuntarily.

finally she said coldly, "bend over bitch" and forced my head down and fastened it to the back of the chair with the short chain.

now i was bent over, helpless to use my hands, helpless to close my legs, helpless to straighten up.

cindy was walking and moving very slowly now. she was thrilled, i could tell. she took from her dresser a glossy wooden laquered black baton, about an inch in diameter and about a two feet long. she begane to tease my penis with it through the dress, running it over my body, my face.

she forced it into my mouth and played with me by seeing how far she could force it down my throat before i began to choke. while she did this she would grind her pelvis against my spread bottom which was now wet with the lubricant which had leaked out.

she very, very slowly and gently peeled back the skirt of my dress and slowly pulled down my panties, just past my anus. she began to insert the baton, slowly working it in and out, enjoying my difficulty in keeping the lubrication inside me with this new penetration and stimulation. she tested my limits, seeing her far she could put it in, enjoying it when she hurt me, trying to hurt just a little more each time before pulling it out only to insert it again.

we played this game for an hour or more, then she left the room and i was alone, wet and helpless.

i could hear her and the man talking low in the next room. making little lovey sounds. laughing.

two hours later, she finally she led him in.

she knely beside him and took out his penis which she had made hard by kissing him in front of me. he stood with it an inch from my mouth. nobody said anything for a minute.

"beg for it" she said.

so this was it. i was going to have to beg for my rape.

but i was afraid. i was just too disgusted. i had never touched a man. i was really afraid to do it.

but that was just what she hoped for.

she stood behind me and lowered my panties more to free my sack. then she began to torture me with the baton, sharply, smartly whacking it against my hanging, helpless balls. lightly at first, but more and more. i loved this torture, this pain and humiliation, and loved her for freeing me to do what she wanted me to do to complete my humiliation, to break me completely so i could be really hers. so she could share me with the man she loved. she was so excited that i could hear her breathing.

i knew i couldnt stand the pain very long. finally i whimpered, almost in tears, "may i please suck you, sir?"

cindy helped guide him into me and taught me to suck him, punishing me when i used teeth, guiding my head to help give him more pleasure, touching him to provide more stimulation. the was no sound but the clicking of the saliva as he glided in and out of my mouth.

finally he came and i had a mouthful of his sticky come. i showed it to him, letting it drip from my teeth and on my lips, licking it back in, holding it in my mouth.

i was being a good girl for him and for cindy.

"you may swallow" she said.

after i had choked down my mans slimy hot gob of stinking, snotty fluid, she said "what do you say?"

"thank you, sir"

she then pulled my panties back up and lowered my skirt and then they lay on the bed and lazily, lovingly, kissed and caressed him, whispering and giggling together, and left me there, waiting for the next part. she had to let him rest, to get him hard again.

they got quiet for a while, watching me. finally she asks him a question i cant hear. they laugh. they get up and slowly walk over to me.

she holds the baton under my chin, raising my face to her. "you dont want to be punished again, do you?" "no, maam" "are you going to be a good girl?" "yes maam, i'll be a good girl"

she strokes him and kisses him and makes him hard. then she teases open my dripping hole, and gently positions him, the head of his penis just touching my opening.

"beg for it" she says coldly.

i swallow, fear, disgust and excitement a knot in my stomach.

"would you please fuck me in the ass, sir?"

she holds him in her fist, her hand wrapped around his penis, preventing him from going in too far. "dont hurt him" i hear her whisper to her man, my man. she eases him into me. he glides in and out, deliciously stretching and violating me. the only sound is the gentle cracking of the lubricant, and his increasingly heavy breathing.

cindy begins to stroke my penis. she has never touched my penis with her hand before like this, only
with the sole of her shoe or with a whip or to tease me. she lightly strokes it up and down. i am sick with excitement and love for her. i begin to tremble, to drip. she smears a few drops of my fluid onto her fingers and slowly, so very very slowly, begins to rub my sperm against the very tip, the head, of my penis, rubbing it between her thumb and forefinger while her man eases slowly in and out of my asshole.

i am dizzy, almost passing out, my head swirling with ecstasy, love, pleasure, disgust, fear, excitement, and desire. my beautiful cindy is actually making me come. and this time i know she will complete the act. she wants to make me feel pleasure with my man in me, to break me completely, make me his bitch.

"go in a little deeper. hurt him"

he deepens his thrust by an inch, violating me deeper, making it hurt a little, and she does something
i dont understand with her hand which makes me scream and weep with pleasure. i feel some fluttering in my anus as he comes inside me, with a slight low groan. then she completes me, letting me spray freely, moaning, weeping, screaming, destroyed with pleasure and shame and love. "shit" she says, and at the moment i come, i let the lubricant and his fluid come streaming out of my hole, a warm, slippery diarrhea, adding to my sick physical pleasure.

"what do you say?"

"thank you, sir"

she holds him and kisses him over and over. they make out on the bed, whispering, laughing.

after that, the routine involved the three of us. my man was there more often, having my cindy while i watched unsatisfied. she loved the pain this caused me, and laughed about it. she forced me to serve him, which i gladly did. i liked kissing and sucking his huge, hard, silky penis. i loved the pleasure it gave him.

i shared their bed with them, helping in their lovemaking. while fucking or sucking one another, my cindy or my man would want a warm, wet tongue snaking in and out of their anus, and i was happy to do it. i sucked and licked genitals, feet, assholes, whatever i was told. cindy and my man both peed in my mouth. i served my woman and my man respectfully, kneeling at their feet.

it was my responsibility to look pretty. i had to keep my self shaved compleetely smooth, and whenever i came over, i had to dress in sexy, pretty clothes, pretty, lacy underwear, put on sexy perfume, and wear my hair and makeup just right. most important, i had to clean my anus with enemas and lubricate myself, because whenever my man wanted, he would raise my skirt, lower my panties, and, holding my smoothly shaven hips tightly, he would wriggle tightly in me until he came. he liked me to fight a little bit and would hurt me, forcing my arm behind my back, making me beg for it, making me cry. i loved the humiliation of it. i had to say "thank you, sir" whenever i was punished or fucked by him. and i meant it.

i was a pretty, sexy, well behaved, well dressed little sissy slut bitch.

cindy became more affectionate. sometimes she would slowly, idly, amusedly masturbate me to orgasm with the heel or toe of her shoe, while i lay helpless at her feet. sometimes she would finish me, and sometimes to torture me she would bring to the brink and leave me unsatisfied.

once, when she and i were both sucking off our man one night, she suddenly kissed me passionately and warmly on the lips. i cherished such rare moments of emotion and love from my one and only lover, my beautiful, my lovely, lovely cindy, my goddess, my soul.